Do Not Feed the Animals (they don't like your cooking anyway)

Okay, so I've blogged a lot lately about Damon's friend... the kid from down the street who pretty much lives here now.

Nick and I could see this situation getting wayyyy out of hand now that the boys are out of school, so we set two important rules for this summer:

• My doorbell better not ring before noon on any given day.
• J can sleep over ONE night per week, not every night (which is what he'd do if I let him), and preferably on Friday or Saturday night... just like during the school year.

The boys have been adhering to the rules, for the most part, and not fighting authority (ha!) TOO terribly much when I have to remind them of one or both rules (this happens quite frequently).

Today, I made a new rule:

• If you spend the night, I'll feed you (if I'm in a good mood). BUT, if you don't like what I fix MY children to eat, then take your butt home and eat there.

Hmpf.

The kid is weird. I have no clue what he eats and drinks at home... but he refuses to do either here at my house. My kids drink apple juice by the barrel... J doesn't like apple juice. (And apparently our WATER isn't good enough for him either, because he went all the way home yesterday afternoon just to get a drink of water. Weird.)

And it's not like I'm trying to feed him anything strange. I have a whole list of "kid foods" that I generally keep in our kitchen... things that I KNOW the kids will eat and I won't have to fight them on at meal times (because sometimes a tired, overworked and underpaid mother just runs out of fight altogether). Some of the things on this kid food list include: hot dogs, chicken nuggets, Ramen noodles, PB&J sandwiches, microwave pizza. Those were all of the things I offered to Damon for lunch today, and told him to pick one. Damon chose Ramen noodles, chicken flavor.

So, I made a huge pot of Ramen noodles, enough for all three kids currently under my roof. When I handed a bowl of them to J, he said, "Oh... I don't like noodles."

Of course you don't.

I started to ask J what he would LIKE to eat, but then thought better of it. I'm fairly certain that the child thinks nothing that comes from my kitchen is edible, so what's the point?? And why should I have to fix something special for him (someone that I did NOT give birth to) just because he's a crazy, picky eater?

So, in the nicest "nice voice" I could muster, I said to the child, "Hey J, why don't you go home and eat lunch since you don't like what Damon and Avery are eating? You can come back and play later if you want to."

J was very agreeable to this solution and was out the door heading for his house in a flash. And Damon thanked me for "being nice... finally." Huh. I'll have to dig out that "nice voice" more often... apparently it has them fooled.