My poor baby

Sigh. Damon is having a very hard time adjusting to his new school. Double sigh.

This morning, he didn't fight when it was time to get up, got dressed without incident, and seemed generally "okay" with going to school. I drove him over to the bus stop, asked how he was doing... "I'm okay, Mom." I asked if he was going to have a good day... "Yeah, I guess." Good signs.

Then the big yellow school bus approached and I said, "Okay, Buddy, time to go!" Buddy proceeded to double himself over in the seat and sob. "I don't wanna go... I don't wanna ride the bus... I don't wanna go to school!!!!" And my heart fell to the floor.

The bus driver sat opposite us, looking a little perplexed because no child emerged from my car. And I was thinking, "hmmmm, what do I do NOW??" I can't just open the door and push the sobbing child out into the snow... Just when I was getting ready to wave the bus driver on and drive him into school myself, he got himself halfway together, exited the car, and boarded the bus, still wiping tears away.

It's just... heartbreaking.

For the past week, I've been trying to get Damon to open up and talk to me... to tell me WHAT is going on at school that has him so upset. It's like pulling teeth trying to communicate with my son, especially about things that are even slightly unpleasant to him. But, darn it, I'm trying.

From what I can gather, the school here is much more structured than his last school (ie, the kids are expected to sit quietly in their seats and actually do WORK throughout the school day; they're also expected to follow basic rules and be responsible for themselves and their belongings). I think Damon NEEDS this extra structure... his last school was just kinda... crazy.

Although Damon's old teacher was young and hip and very nurturing to the kids (which is why they loved her), her classroom was beyond chaotic---kids running around the room, visiting their friends and yakking it up whenever they felt like it, asking the teacher for help for EVERY little thing that they should have been independent enough to do themselves (in my opinion) at 7 years old. But, chaotic though it may have been, that's what Damon has been used to... that's what "school" is for him. And now, suddenly, he's thrown into a totally different type of environment. And so, I KNOW this is a huge adjustment for him.

Damon comes home every day and tells me how it was the worst day of his life.

One day last week he forgot to take his coat to the lunch room (apparently they go out to recess right after lunch and the kids are expected to take their coats with them), and he wasn't allowed to go back and get his coat... instead, the teacher made him sit inside, on a bench in the hallway, for the entire recess.

Then another day, he talked during the first 10 minutes of lunch (which is a no-no, I guess), so the teacher made him go sit with the FOURTH grade class for the rest of lunch... of course that's totally traumatic for a little first grader... especially a first grader who is brand new to the school.

He claims that his teacher is a wicked witch and yells at him all the time.

I have such mixed emotions about all of this. On one hand, Damon is my baby. I love him to pieces and my heart breaks when he tells me these little snippets of horror in his school day. I think, "oh, c'mon, why couldn't the kid just walk two steps down the hallway to GET his darn coat for recess... how hard is that?? Maybe he didn't KNOW the coat rule... he's the NEW kid, give him a break for the love of Pete!"

And I have a sneaking suspicion that not much has been done to "introduce" him to the new school, new routine, new rules, etc. And that upsets me. (I've met his teacher, briefly, twice... and she was pretty horrid on both occasions and didn't seem happy AT ALL to have a new kid added to her class... So sorry to shake things up for her!)

But, at the same time, I think Damon is old enough that he needs to assume some responsibility for himself and learn to follow the rules, whatever they may be. (I bet he won't forget his coat again anytime soon!)

I have requested a conference with his teacher. I sent in a note and told her that I wanted to meet with her to discuss how Damon is adjusting... because I'm seeing signs at home that he's having some trouble, and I hope that she and I can open communication and maybe make this a bit easier for him. I don't think it's too much to ask for her to meet with me, since I know very little about her, the school, and what's expected of Damon in a day's time (have I mentioned he's the "new kid??").

But, so far, my request has been ignored... Sigh. So, in the next day or two, I'm going to have to be "that parent" and march myself into the office and demand that SOMEONE talk to me about my son. I am so not "that parent." Just the thought of doing that makes me want to run for my bed and hide under the covers... for a week or so. But, Damon is my baby... and I know I have to step up and BE his advocate right now... that's what I signed on for when I gave birth to that sweet boy 7 years ago, right?

In the meantime, I wait every school day on pins and needles until I see his cute little face running toward me from the afternoon bus... and I brace myself for the daily report of horror that's sure to come. And every day I pray that MAYBE today he had a good day... just maybe. I think I would cry tears of joy if Damon came home and said, "Mom, today was a great day at school!" I'm holding out hope for THAT day.