December 26th, 2003--2007

Happy Birthday, Princess Avery!

XXOO.

Busy, busy, busy

I feel like I have ten million little things that I should be blogging about on a daily basis, but I'm not nearly organized enough for that lately... so here goes--a nice, long, unorganized "catch up" post!

I finally knocked out the majority of my Christmas shopping yesterday, whew!! Nothing like waiting 'til the last minute, huh? I still have a few little things to run out and get, but I think I can handle it. I'm feeling much better now that the kids are taken care of, for the most part.

Avery is having a "themed" Christmas, for sure. Her big gift is a Dora Talking Vanity, and purchasing that was the highlight of the season for me! It was selling at Toys R Us for $80 (although yesterday I noticed it was marked down to $60), but the day last week when I went to Toys R Us to get it, I just couldn't bring myself to actually put it in my cart and continue to the check-out. I had a mini panic attack in the middle of the store because I was so overwhelmed and confused, and came home empty-handed... and super depressed.

Then a friend told me she saw the vanity on Amazon for $49, and I thought "hmmm... that's pretty tempting." But still didn't buy it. The next morning, my friend Angie, online bargain shopper extraordinaire!, called to tell me that Amazon had marked it down to $27.35!!! What a steal! Needless to say, Avery is getting one, lol.

My mom is making her the most adorable ever little princess dress-up dresses, and she got her some ballet slippers to wear with them. Avery's also getting all of the dress-up accessories: make-up, jewelry, and hair stuff. She is such a diva, and this dress-up theme is going to be RIGHT up her alley!

Damon was really difficult to shop for this year, for some reason. His big gift is the Guitar Hero III game for his Playstation. He's played it at friends' houses several times and with Uncle Donny last Christmas, and Damon loooooves it! So I broke down and got that for him. I have a feeling that he won't even notice the rest of his gifts once he sees Guitar Hero. And I predict we'll all be jammin' out in front of the television for the majority of Christmas Day!

In other news, my father-in-law arrived from China last week, and he's making his rounds visiting all of his kids for the 3 weeks that he'll be in the States. I'm picking him up from the airport Sunday evening and he'll spend several days here with us. Everyone is super excited to see Papaw! The last time he was "home" was last October for Nick's brother's wedding... so a visit is long overdue!

Nick should be home sometime Monday, Christmas Eve. And he's supposed to have a whopping 24 hours here with us for the holiday. But we're kinda holding out hope that they'll extend his home time by a day or so... that would be really nice, especially considering the fact that his baby girl has a birthday to celebrate the day after Christmas!

And, I just picked up a new client for work! YAY! I've been trying to get on as a freelancer with this company for MONTHS, and finally received confirmation yesterday that I "passed the test." I'm not quite sure where I'll find the time to work for another company, but I'm excited about the opportunity nonetheless.

Speaking of work, it's piling up... so I'd better get back to it! I'm sure I'll be back with Holiday updates! Happy Holidays, Everyone! :)

Gingerbread Mania

The kids really enjoyed decorating gingerbread... but, wow, what a pain in the butt! lol I don't think I'll buy the cute gingerbread kits next year (famous last words).

Oh yeah... I promise I didn't forget...

I was so preoccupied with news of Damon's traumatic music program last night, I almost forgot to alert the world that yesterday was also my dear husband's birthday.

His 31st birthday. tee hee. I love the 2.5 months of the year when Nick and I are the same age... because for the other 9.5 months, he loves to remind me that we're NOT and calls me his "old lady" (no, it doesn't get ANY more romantic than that).

I spent most of yesterday feeling really sorry for poor, 31-year-old Nick. Not because he's as old as I am, but because he spent his birthday in a truck... on the road... by himself. Yee haw. Happy freakin' birthday.

I called him first thing in the morning... because, really, what else can you do to show your truck-driving husband who is a thousand miles away from home how you're thinking of him on his special day? And, as luck would have it, I woke him up with my call. Totally NOT my intention. Nick is usually up and driving, putting those miles behind him, many hours before I'm awake and functioning... but, of course he chose this particular day, his birthday, to sleep in. And I ruined it (Sorry, Honey!).

We didn't really do much to celebrate Nick's birthday when he was home earlier this month (like we probably should have), so when he comes home for Christmas, I hope to have his favorite birthday dinner (mac and cheese and sausage links... he's such a simple man. God, I love that about him!) and his favorite birthday cake (yellow with chocolate/peanut butter icing) here waiting for him.

We'll see you in 12 days... Old Man.

Trauma... first-grade style

Last night was Damon's winter music program at school. Sounds fun, right? Yeah, um, not really.

If you're a long-time reader of my fabulous blog, you might remember this from last year's program. Damon is definitely NOT a performer. But, as his proud and doting mother, I had high hopes for this year. He's a full year older and more mature (HA!), and honestly, he's changed a lot in a year's time. But, then again, maybe not...

Last night was traumatic, to put it lightly... for Damon, for his grandparents, and especially for his poor old mom.

Damon stood on stage with his fellow first graders to sing 4 or 5 songs, complete with very limited, simple choreography (wave your hand to the right, to the left, now clap... that kinda thing). When he first got on stage, Damon scoured the audience until he saw his Grampy stand up and wave to alert the child to his biggest fans' location. And he actually smiled and waved at us. That was the happiest part of the evening; it quickly went downhill from there.

He smiled and waved at us, and then got an irritated, bored, embarrassed, "please-don't-look-at-me" scowl on his face. Uh oh. Warning bells were going off in my head.

He started to sing along with the first song, kinda sorta... then when his classmates started their crazy choreography, Damon didn't join in. Instead, he lowered his head (in prayer maybe?), and quit singing altogether. Hmmmm, the grandparents and I were chuckling a little... oh look, isn't that cute/funny, ha ha. Then, Damon wiped his eyes with his shirt sleeve.

The poor kid stood on stage for a horrific 15 minutes or so... and cried. In the midst of 60+ fellow first graders and in front of a HUGE audience of doting parents/grandparents/siblings/teachers, he cried. And cried. And wiped his tears with his sleeve. (Did I mention that he cried? wahhhhhh!)

And, I sat paralyzed in the audience. My heart was absolutely breaking for the poor kid. I wasn't sure exactly why he was crying... was he embarrassed in front of an "audience?" Did he forget the words to the songs? Did he not know the stupid choreography? Was he about to vomit? Regardless, he was visibly upset. I just wanted to run up there, snatch my son off the stage, wrap him up in a huge hug, and cry with him. But I did none of the above. I just sat, paralyzed, praying that he'd get it together for the next song. He didn't.

Sometimes I wonder WHAT I'm going to do with Damon. He's the sweetest child (at times) and he's actually full of personality, all his own. But, unfortunately, he takes after his mother... he's ultra-sensitive. I wouldn't say he's a cry baby, because honestly, he's not. I think he's your pretty typical rough and tumble boy... but he does have his moments where his feelings are hurt and his heart breaks and the world knows it. As his mother, of course, I want to protect him from anything and everything... and stop the tears. Last night was just one of those instances where I couldn't. The first of many, I'm sure.

Tomorrow morning, Damon and his classmates will be performing the same program in front of their entire school. God help him...

Deep thoughts...

I did something different today---I went to church.

It's been a few years since I last attended a church service... and the last church I attempted to go to, a few times, was just not the place for me. It was an enormous congregation, and although I was greeted at the door in a friendly manner, I didn't get the feeling after attending a few weeks in a row that anyone cared that I was there, including God.

I guess you could say I just wasn't feelin' it... even though I wanted to. Really wanted to. So I quit going to this particular church, and although I promised myself (and God) that I would continue my search for a church that "fit" me and my children, I didn't.

Church and God and Faith are not a "natural" part of my world. I wasn't raised in a church... no one in my immediate family went to church, ever, and therefore I didn't either.

When I was a kid, most of my friends attended church. And one family in particular let me tag along quite often. But I always felt like an outsider, no matter how often I went with them or how much I enjoyed singing hymns (always my favorite part of any Sunday morning at church). No matter how welcome and loved I was supposed to feel when I walked through those doors, I never did. I felt like a big phony. I thought that the members of this church who were raising their hands and singing God's praise and weeping at the thought of Jesus dying for them were a bit... well... crazy.

I've spent the majority of my life feeling like I must be missing something. And the older I get, the more I wonder/worry/stress about WHAT I'm missing... and now, what my kids are missing as well. I don't want my children to grow up feeling like outsiders and phonies when their friends talk about Jesus (who?!?!) and invite them to their churches. I don't want them to think Christmas is only about Toys R Us and piles of gifts under a fake tree.

So, this morning we went to church. And it was nice. Just... nice. I enjoyed the service, I'm glad we went, and I'm planning on returning next Sunday morning. I still felt like I didn't quite belong there, and I literally prayed that Damon wouldn't scream "Jesus!!" as an expletive during Children's Church (like he did at the doctor's office Friday when the doctor swabbed his throat *shudder*).

Tonight, I'm trying to remind myself that I've lived almost 32 years with no real faith to speak of... no relationship with Jesus, or even a clear understanding of who he (He?) was or what he did and what any of that has to do with me. So I suppose it's going to take longer than one measly Sunday morning for me to "feel it," let alone understand any of it.

Lizzie Balboa

My mom has had her sewing machine out lately... and one of the things she's created, and we've all enjoyed immensely, is this little coat for Lizzie. The dog is soooo cold-blooded and has no fur to keep her warm on these bitter cold days... so now she has a little help in that department.

She's not really a fan of the hood, but it's so stinkin' cute. I can't help but giggle every time I see Lizzie walking around in her new hoodie, which is even personalized. tee hee. And I think she looks like Rocky, so I now call her "Lizzie Balboa" and sing the Rocky theme song when she crosses my path.

Snow and Tree Trimming and More

First of all, I'm sooo beyond excited tonight because I'm blogging again from my beloved laptop! weeee! My friends Michelle and Brian are the absolute BEST... Brian ordered a new fan for me, installed it, and delivered it this evening. I've never been so glad to see a piece of machinery come into my house! I have seriously missed this baby!

Also newsworthy around these parts... for the past TWO DAYS we've seen snow!!! Snow is definitely a rare occurrence around here... so twice in two days is really crazy stuff! It didn't amount to much, but was still fun to see everything covered in white. Here are a couple of pics from my back door yesterday morning, while it was still falling. I think we had even more today, but I wasn't energetic enough to take pics, so these will have to do.

And, yep, that's Nick's pumpkin truck in the above photo. He was home for a nice, long visit this time... which only made it harder to say goodbye this morning, I think. He'll be home in about 2.5 weeks, just in time for Christmas morning. But unfortunately he'll probably only be here for about 24 hours then. I'm really not looking forward to "handling" all of Christmas on my own. The shopping and the wrapping and the assembling, etc. Blech. I'm definitely in a Bah Humbug kinda mood this year...

I did have Nick's help with putting the tree up before he left, though. I was grateful for that, because it's one of my least favorite things about Christmas, lol. Here are the kids last night, hanging the ornaments:

I really can't believe Christmas is right around the corner. ACK! I'm soooo not ready for it this year.

Home Safe and Sound

Nick surprised me by arriving home last night! Earlier in the week he told me that he probably wouldn't make it here until Sunday (even though his home time was supposed to start Friday night). But, somehow he got his last load delivered yesterday evening, about 2 hours from here, and then he high-tailed it home to us. It was a great surprise!!

He'll be here until Wednesday, so it's really nice to know that we have several days to spend with him. We don't have anything major planned, but that's okay, too. I think he's happy to just hang out and relax and spend some quality time with his family. Avery hasn't gotten two feet away from her daddy all day!

On the computer front, my friend's husband checked out my laptop and reported that it just needs a new fan. WHEW! So, I was more than happy to give him the money to order a fan, and hopefully he'll have it fixed up and back to me sometime next week.

For now, I'm getting by (just barely) with my old dinosaur, piece o' crap desktop that I've had for a hundred years. This thing is seriously scary... but I can't NOT have a computer of some type for a week because, well, there's work to be done (and due to illness and a broken laptop, I'm very far behind). So, I'm struggling with this baby for now... and I'm going to cry tears of joy when my laptop returns home to me!