My Little "Deer"

Tonight was Damon's first "music program" at school. Although, I'm not quite sure WHY they dubbed it a music program because there was no singing or instrument-playing, but anyway...

Each of the four Kindergarten classes at his school took their turn on stage, acting out a "nursery rhyme." We saw Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Three Little Pigs, that Billy Goat's Gruff thing, and Damon's class performed Henny Penny.

Damon was a deer. I asked him a few weeks ago about his role as the deer and if he had any lines to deliver... his rather annoyed response: "No, Mom, I just have to sit there and pretend I'm eating the grass."

Damon was the most miserable-looking deer (or child) I've ever seen for the entire 5 minutes that his class performed. He started out sitting cross-legged (or "criss-cross applesauce," in Kindergarten-ese) with his hands folded in his lap... a couple of minutes into his theatrical debut, he was slumped over with his hand on his chin, looking 100% bored and irritated that he had to be there. (Oh, and I saw no attempt at pretend grass-eating, either.)

If you look closely (I was too far away and trying to aim in between other parents' heads to get this shot!), you can see my miserable little deer.

Did you see him? He kind of blends in with the background, which I think was just fine with him, lol.

If tonight's performance was any indication, I don't think we should plan on seeing Damon's name in lights someday.

Oh my, a blog-free WEEK!

I knew I was slacking on my posts, but didn't realize it had been an entire week since my last one (so sorry Aunt Linda, lol)!!!

So what's been going on here? Not a whole lot (shocking, I know).

Thanksgiving was nice. We had a small gathering here... just me, Nick, the kids, my mom, and my uncle. Mom was Cinderella and cooked and cleaned for us all day. Nick and I taught Uncle Al how to play Pinochle, an old family tradition of Nick's. Uncle Al and I went out for a wine run, and bought all of the Cold Duck we could find (one of my family's traditions!). And, Mom, Al, and I consumed 6 bottles by ourselves in the course of the day, which led to a massive headache and a nap on the couch for me! The turkey was yummy... the stuffing (my favorite) even yummier! We're still eating leftovers.

We haven't started the dreaded Christmas decorating yet... I keep thinking about it, but just haven't had the time. Mom moved more of her stuff in this weekend, which included a gazillion Christmas decorations... now, we just need to find the room to display it in our little house, which is becoming "cozier" by the minute!

I'll admit I'm not feeling very "festive" these days. In the back of my mind, I WANT to get in the Christmas Spirit, but it's just not happening. For one thing, I'm super busy with work (this time of year is always nuts for freelance medical editors, go figure!) and just don't have the TIME to be jolly.

And, every year, I say that I'd like to forget about the money aspect of Christmas... the crazy shopping, stressing over how to afford presents for umpteen million people... I'd really LIKE to just enjoy the Season and get back to the heart of it. But, it's never very easy to do that. So, unless you're independently wealthy, this time of year can be a little stressful... and depressing.

BUT, having just celebrated Thanksgiving with my loved ones, I know that I've been blessed in so many ways. I did take some time last Thursday to reflect on what I'm grateful for... and that's always good for the soul!

Please Make it Stop, Part 2

And, amazingly enough, I'm NOT referring to my children here...

I'm a huge celebrity gossip addict, I admit... I can't go through a check-out line without snatching up one of those gossip rags and checking in on my favorite (and not-so-favorite) celebs. And I'm guilty of clicking on the MSN and Yahoo "Entertainment" tabs almost daily...

But, for the love of Pete... if I hear one more word about TomKat's $2 million wedding and that darn 3-minute kiss (I'm thinking ewww! and get a room!), I'm going to scream... probably loud enough for them to hear me wherever they're off honeymooning now.

Enough already! Please, please make it STOP!!!

Family Fun at Damon's School

Last Friday, the Kindergarten classes at Damon's school had a "Family BBQ."

So, Nick, my mom, Avery, and I all set off for the school Friday afternoon with a bucket of fried chicken (our contribution to the feast). It was pretty much mass confusion in the little tiny cafeteria... but fun nonetheless. There were some good eats and Damon was so happy to have all of us there!

Here are some pics we managed to take amid the chaos:

Damon and Avery, complete with food in their mouths:

Damon and Grandma:

Nick and me:

Who needs a microwave?!?!

My daughter is officially the strangest person I've ever met.

Not only did the child request chicken nuggets for breakfast (although, I guess that's not THAT strange for an almost 3 year old), but she told me NOT to cook them.

She has always preferred cold hot dogs to nuked ones... and I can relate to that. I've always eaten cold hot dogs straight out of the fridge.

But, frozen solid chicken nuggets?? ummm, yuck.

I decided to honor her request this morning, as a little experiment. I figured she'd take one bite of the frozen treat and decide that it wasn't very tasty and ask me to cook them.

But, no. Avery just ate a whole plateful of FROZEN nuggets.

Who's ever heard of such a strange thing????

When will I learn?!?!

All week, I've felt like I can't tell if I'm coming or going... most of this is due to the fact that I can't convince myself to get to bed at a normal hour, ever.

It's no secret to those who have known me for any length of time that I am, in fact, a nightowl. But, having two kids DID change that for me... for a while. For the past 5 or 6 years, the kids have worn me out... and by 9 or 10pm, I've been ready to call it a night.

But, for some reason, in recent months, the nightowl has "re-awakened." I think it's probably because Nick has a very strange work schedule, and he gets home around 2:30am most nights. For me to stay up until 2am is nothing out of the ordinary... so I've been trying to wait up for him.

This is all fine and good until the alarm goes off at 7am and I have to get up and get Damon ready for the schoolbus.

Ever since my mom moved back in with us (about 2.5 weeks ago), she has had to scream up the stairs at me every morning to get me out of bed in the morning... and she's made several comments like "how in the world did you ever get Damon to school before I moved in?? Noone gets up in the morning in this house!!" Well, I'm not sure HOW, but we did manage *insert eyeroll here*.

This week, I've just felt horrible, though... and I'm sure it's due to lack of sleep. And I'm sleeping in most mornings, then feeling worthless for the majority of the day... until the nightowl lands on my shoulder at about 10pm and I'm wide awake again. *sigh*

I know it's my own stupid fault and I NEED to get on a better schedule sleep-wise. But honestly, the only time I have to devote to my work is late at night, after I finally get the kids settled into bed. So, it's just a vicious cycle.

I really WANT to go to bed early tonight... but I know it won't happen. I have a stack of working sitting here that I'm behind on... and ten tons more waiting for next week. Does the fun EVER stop???

A "Slumber Party" with Mom

My mom and I went to a slumber party together Saturday night.

No, I'm not talking about sleeping bags and popcorns, People... we went to THIS kind of Slumber Party.

Mind you, Mom and I have always been very close... and more like friends than mother and daughter... but even so, I'm thinking we really crossed the line on this one.

And I was even further convinced that the line had been crossed when, over coffee the next morning, Mom asked me how Nick liked "my purchases" from the night before.

I will never be the same. As my friend Angie would say: Someone please hold me!

A Bonfire, Redneck Style

Now you KNOW this post must have something to do with my dear husband, right (was it the "redneck" thing that gave it away?).

We live in the middle o' nowhere, surrounded on three sides by cornfields. This suits my dear husband just FINE... he loves having no neighbors within earshot, he supposedly loves being able to pee off the back porch (although I don't think I've ever actually SEEN him do that), and he loves inviting his friends over to have a few beers and light things on fire in a big pit in the backyard (aka, a bonfire).

We do this bonfire thing quite frequently... and Nick has really "mastered" the whole process. We now have a permanent "pit" in the yard... Nick and his friends scour the tree line on the edge of our property, looking for logs (or half trees) to burn... and if he's driving down the road and sees a fallen down tree or rotten telephone pole, ummm, he'll stop and get it... honestly (I couldn't MAKE this stuff up, People).

Nick also had a brilliant idea a few bonfires ago when he remembered that we had an old stereo upstairs in storage... now this isn't any little "boombox." I'm talking a huge tuner stereo system with huge honkin' speakers, etc. So, this has become our "bonfire stereo" now (doesn't everyone have one of those??).

Anyway, last weekend Nick outdid himself and gave new meaning to the word "bonfire." Friday night the weather was gorgeous here, and I think it was MY brilliant idea to have a fire and invite some friends over. What I didn't expect was that we'd be using our furniture for kindling. Oh yes.

You see, my mom has recently moved back in with us, so we've acquired a lot more furniture in our teeny tiny house. And, the couch that we had was one that Mom handed down to us less than a year ago, yet my children (and the infamous dog) had pretty much destroyed it... so, it was on its way to the dump anyway. My husband decided it would be better served as firewood. And he didn't stop there... He also carried our coffee table and end tables out to the fire pit, too.

So, THAT is how you have a true, redneck-style bonfire (just in case you were wondering)... you simply scour the house for unwanted furniture and throw it into a fire pit. Voila! (I only wish I had thought to take pics to share with everyone... it was quite a scene!)

I have to admit, in the 7+ years that I've been with Nick, there has RARELY been a dull moment, lol.

The Second Step to a Better Dog (and if this doesn't work, I give up!)

Yesterday, Nick and I made a trip to our local PetSmart in search of SOMETHING to help us with this #$%* (enter your own expletive) dog of his.

After I was so excited the other night about her new crate, I took her out of the crate for a walk around the yard, and she slipped out of her harness and ran away from me... I then had the very unpleasant task of text messaging my husband at work and telling him that I lost his dog. My mom and I spent the next hour pacing around outside in the dark and cold screaming for this #$%* dog.

Luckily, she did return home, unscathed. But the whole experience scared me to death... my husband was deeply troubled, of course, and my son was a hysterical wreck because he was afraid Lizzie would meet the same, sad end as our last dog, Lucky (who was hit by a car in front of our house last summer).

Well, aside from getting loose and running away into the night, Lizzie also has several behavioral problems... she steals food from the kids when they're trying to eat, she has no clue where she's supposed to go to the bathroom, and she barks uncontrollably for no good reason at times (just to mention a few).

So, yesterday, we purchased the niftiest thing ever.... a brand new shock collar for Dear Liz.

I'll admit, I was a little reluctant to zap her for the first time... but once I did, I found that it's VERY enjoyable, lol. So far, I've only used it to keep her away from my children while they're eating, and it's working quite well!

If this doesn't solve my "issues" with Liz, I give up. But I have a feeling that these nifty little electric currents being pumped into her neck just MIGHT do the trick!

Please make it stop!!

The sibling wars, that is.

Damon has two days off from school this week, which means he has about 16 more hours this week to FIGHT with his sister.

I really DID know what I was doing when I decided to give birth to a second child and give Damon a sibling... I really KNEW these days were ahead of me... I did.

But even so, I just want someone to put me out of my misery already!!

The yelling.
The crying.
The whining.
The pushing.
The shoving.
The slamming doors.
The chasing.
The constant tug-of-war.
The "MOMMMM-MY!!!!!!"

Please, just make it STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The First Step to a Better Dog

My dog... I mean, uhhhh, NICK'S dog... is pretty crazy.

We've had this crate for her since we got her over a year ago, but we never really TRIED to crate train her (stupid, very stupid). Well, today, I finally set up the crate, made a space for it in our dining room, filled it full of comfy blankies and her favorite toy, and shoved her in there.

I was fully prepared for hours of whining and barking... but instead, she just curled up and went to sleep. And I breathed a huge sigh of relief!!!

Here's to Lizzie's new home within our home!

His First Trophy!

I'm sure it will be the first of many, bigger and better, tropies... but today, Damon received his first-ever trophy at the last game of his Fall T-Ball league.

He was so proud of it... so I know he'd want me to show it off to all of his fans!

My Princess

Avery Brooke (or Emma as her Grampy likes to call her for some insane reason) is rapidly approaching her THIRD birthday. How that's possible, I haven't quite figured out... It really does feel like she was JUST born.

And, as so many of my wise-beyond-their-years SAHM friends have pointed out, three year olds can be a LOT more challenging than the infamous "terrible twos." I know I've lived through these years once before with my darling devil Damon... but honestly, I don't have nearly enough memories left of those years, and just HOW challenging they were!

Luckily (?!?!), Avery is here to remind me, on a daily basis.

At almost 3, Avery has discovered fighting with her brother over every little blasted thing... I swear, they used to get along so well and played together so nicely... but those days have become a thing of the past. If Bubba has it, Avery wants want... and a WWF match will surely follow. If Bubba wants to play a video game, Avery wants to watch a movie. If Bubba wants to watch a movie, Avery wants to watch cartoons instead. If Bubba wants the green sippy cup, Avery wants the green sippy cup (nevermind that she has its twin, only in orange).

At almost 3, Avery has decided that going to bed at night is just an all-around BAD idea. Gone are the days when she marches into her room, climbs willingly into her cute little toddler bed, gives me a hug and kiss, says "Night, Mommy!" and drifts off to sleep peacefully cuddling Bear. So gone. I can't even begin to describe the scene of horror that unfolds in this house between the hours of 8pm and 10pm these days. But I'm quite certain that if someone from Child Protective Services just happened to knock on my door at that time (or even worse, one of her grandparents!), I'd be carted away off to jail, or put in a straight jacket, and locked away. Quite certain.

At almost 3, Avery has mastered the art of temper tantrums. Anytime I tell her something she doesn't want to hear or something doesn't go exactly her way, she proceeds to jump into the air, pulling her feet in front of her, and landing as hard as possible on her bottom. Then, there are ear-piercing screams... oh, and her face turns ten shades of red, and if it's really bad, she shakes a little. It is a terrifying thing to witness... and this probably happens a dozen times a day (in rapid succession at bedtime, see above).

(Missy, are you sorry you didn't read this about 10 or 11 months ago?? lol Don't worry, dear, I'm sure Hailey will be a perfect angel and never act in such a horrid manner. bwahahaha, yeah, you go ahead and keep telling yourself that! *evil grin*)

Okay, so I've presented plenty of compelling evidence that my daughter is, in fact, devil spawn.

And now, after ALL that, I plan to disprove it with one simple photograph:

How could that sweet princess be anything short of wonderful?!?!?

Really... It's Thursday, I Promise!!

I lost count of how many times I uttered those words to my husband this afternoon... I spent a good 15 minutes before he left for work trying to convince him that, without a doubt, Today IS Thursday! lol

See, Thursday is his Friday, so on Thursday evenings, he gets to "dress down," and I know how much he loves that. So, when I saw him dressed "up" for work, I asked why he wasn't wearing his ratty blue jeans, since it's Thursday.

He looked at me with a completely blank look on his face and said, "It's not Thursday... today is only Wednesday." ummmm, no, dear... it's Thursday... and this went on, back and forth, forever.

I finally convinced him when I fast forwarded through our digital cable Guide and showed him that Grey's Anatomy is on tonight (he knows that my favorite tv night is Thursday because of this show). When he saw that, my dear husband immediately changed into his ratty blue jeans and headed to work, a little lighter, knowing that it was his last day of the work week.

So, once again... today IS Thursday, People.

(And, Grey's Anatomy IS on... and even better, it's a NEW show instead of that sucky re-run that they showed last week.)

Treat or Treat!

Yesterday was a busy, busy day for us... considering Avery and I haven't really left the house is about a week!

First we went to a Halloween/Birthday party for two of the little girls in our playgroup. The house was packed full of moms and little ones complete with costumes! It was so much fun to see all of the kids dressed up! My friend Melissa has the most awesome digital camera EVER, so she offered to set up a backdrop and takes professional-like pics of each kid. That was interesting, to say the least! I stood over Melissa's shoulder and took a zillion and one pics of my Princess Avery (I'll be sharing some of those later this week!). Fun was had by all, and I'm sure our hostess is still recovering!

Then, last night, the kids and I went trick-or-treating with Trish and her boys in our friend Jaime's neighborhood (since Trish and I live in the middle o' nowhere!).

Here are some pics: